Barefoot - Merlot @@@ (3 Corks)

Retails: $8.99 (4-pack, BP Gas Station)

I'm sitting in a hotel room in the middle of nowhere--the Everglades to be exact. I'm on a shoot tomorrow at the Miccosukee Reservation and I decided to stay the night before at their hotel/casino---yes, apparently the stereotype holds some truth in this instance. As soon as I walked through the doors, the fairy-princess-twinkle of slot machines and the overwhelming stench of cigarettes greeted me. The decor is identical to the "entertainment decorating" of Disney World and Carnival cruise ships---nauseating patterns accented by over-the-top bright colors with neon lights for an accent. Opting for the economical dinner option, I chose to eat at the buffet (what casino doesn't have a buffet?!), big mistake. The only thing on the menu was a heartattack. As I awkwardly ate half-ass bites of lard-encrusted roast beef alone, I noticed that in an entire room I was the only person under 50. I know you snarky non-Floridians out there are saying "But Florida is ALL old people." No. It isn't. It's about 65% old people, thank you, and I cannot remember a single instance where I literally could not find anyone within 20 years of my age. (20 YEARS!!)

Luckily, I came prepared. Fully knowing that this hotel would be located in the middle of nowhere, I stopped into a BP and picked up a "classy" 4-pack of Barefoot Merlot. No, I'm not planning on drinking all four, but from experience, the 4-pack is a better bet on the road than a full bottle. So, before hopping on Alligator Alley (the passageway between Naples and Miami that runs you right through the Everglades), I stopped into a BP for a pee break and to snag some wine for the destination.

Considering that I got this from a gas station, I'm impressed. I was shocked that this BP carried something other than Sutter Home, heck, I didn't even know Barefoot came in a 4-pack. As far as Merlot wines are concerned, it's nothing to write home about, but it's not bad. It's absolutely drinkable. It's making an otherwise lackluster evening watching American Idol (don't judge, all hotels offer an appaulingly small amount of channels) and surfing the net in an ashtray, into a slightly more luxurious experience. Slightly.

Travel for pleasure and travel for work are two different experiences. I've stayed in some extremely terrible and extremely lovely locales and in each instance, relaxing with a glass of wine at the end of the day has been able to keep me from completely going mental. So, should you ever find yourself under similar circumstances, I suggest you run down to your local gas station and snag yourself a 4-pack of Barefoot Merlot.