Casella Mallee Point - Chardonnay 2009 @@@@ (4 Corks)

Retails: $7.99 (Total Wine)

Chardonnay has become a new favorite. It has managed to diminish my cynicism towards white wines with its crisp yet buttery, fruitful flavors. This Australian white is no exception, beautifully composed with nuanced flavors that shift from buttery, honey, to apple-tart and very light acidity. It's the perfect compliment to this evenings' existential musings.

To set the scene:

I'm home with the kids after a hell-acious week, that, aside from being strenuous on the work-front, has been intensifying on the home-front due to an escalating custody battle brewing---I'll spare you the details, but in essence, it can be boiled down to a lack of cooperation on the opposing party's side to the extent that we had to hire legal council to remedy the situation. Yes, three weeks before my wedding, this is the kind of egregious battle I'm still having to fight. But, we press on. My fiance is enjoying his bachelor party out with his sister (best man, yes we're not traditional), and I'm home, drinking a bottle of Chardonnay while the kids drift into what will hopefully be a restful slumber and I work on some last-minute wedding details, which led me to the following...

My parents sent me a disc of old photographs of my relatives -- many of whom passed away ages ago. I teared up over the people I didn't have enough time with, or had no time with at all. The photographs of my grandmother who passed away from breast cancer when I was a small child; my great grandparents whom I never had the chance to meet; my mother's father who exists as a mix of small clips and snaps in my memory due to the illness that kept him distant; my three Great Aunts, the last of whom just recently passed in body, but whose mind had long been taken by Alzheimer's. (the photo includes, from left to right, my Grandfather, aforementioned Grandmother and Aunt, and Uncle during WWII)

I have always lived far away from my family. I realize it's not abnormal for people to have grown up far away from their families' roots -- to be displaced from the people who have handed down legacy, heirlooms, traditions, secrets. My folks come from absolute opposite ends of North America -- my mother, a native to Quebec, Canada with a giant, true-blooded, Catholic French-Canadian family. My father, a son of the Deep South (Gainesville, Georgia).

We had our tiny, bi-lingual family nestled in the suburb of Cape Elizabeth, Maine--the compromise after my parents married -- moving my mother into the USA but close enough to drive home.

Every vacation, we made the trek to either end of the continent to visit family. It wasn't that we didn't make the effort to maintain family ties, but the distance, the distance made me feel completely alien to either halves. I was the only New England-er. For the most part, I hardly gave it a second thought, this was just expected for being so far away.

There are coping mechanisms, of course, when your family is so far away, your friends really do become your family and for that, I am truly fortunate.

The whole notion of Family. Legacy. Heritage. Tradition. have really hit me now, at the three week mark before my wedding.

I've been completely blown away by how many relatives I haven't seen in years have written, I mean hand written, me messages of wishes and hope in addition to making the journey to me, here in Florida for my wedding. Perhaps I've been unnecessarily withdrawn from either side, either way I'm so moved by the response.

As I was "thumbing" through the photographs on my computer, I just became overwhelmed by the legacy, the tradition that I am apart of, but never felt apart of...but I'm really starting to.